What Makes a Good Bridesmaid
It's finally happened-one of the most important people in your life has gotten engaged-and they asked YOU to be a bridesmaid! But now…what do you have to do? You just get a dress, show up, then enjoy the open bar-right? Well...not exactly. But luckily, I'm here to tell you what it takes to be a good bridesmaid:
A bridesmaid is first and foremost supportive! Really...it's the same thing that goes into being a good friend. You're there for the bride when she needs someone to talk to, or advice, or to lift her up when she's feeling insecure. It's a very basic but very important thing!
Bridesmaids are expected to (within reason) be at pre-wedding events such as bachelorette parties, bridal showers, etc. Sometimes you may even be expected to throw some of these events. Coordinate with other members of the bridal party as well as family members (and the couple!) to figure out a way to make it work out best for all involved.
Yes...bridesmaids are expected to get a dress (or whatever attire the bride has chosen) for the wedding. Sometimes this will also extend to shoes, jewelry, hair style, makeup, etc.--and other times the bride will just give you a color and tell you to go crazy. Everyone is different but whatever it is just make sure to do your best to do as the bride wishes.
Be on time to the rehearsal and pay attention, this is where you learn exactly what you need to do at the wedding.
Arrive where and when you're supposed to on the day of the wedding and pretty much just follow the plan. When you're with the bride pre-ceremony, try to do your best to make sure she's at ease and happy and having fun! (Also, make sure that she-and all of you-eat. Trust me.) Then keep her that way for the rest of the day.
Once the ceremony is over the most fun part of the bridesmaid duties start-you're a large part of kicking off the party! First of all, if you're making a speech: keep it sweet and keep it short. Make sure to participate in any events at the reception. And get out and DANCE. Once the bridal party starts dancing, everyone else joins in. And then it's just having fun and enjoying this celebration of the people you love.
If for any reason you're unable to fulfill all the above duties—just talk to the bride! They love you and chose you for a reason and will more than likely do anything they can to make things work for you. But if that's still not an option, it is more than ok to decline an offer to be a bridesmaid (so long as you do it with plenty of notice!). And brides: try to be reasonable with your expectations and requests of your bridal party. Take into consideration their lives and financial situations. Which brings me to my last point...
A bridesmaid is not a photographer, dj, or wedding planner (or, taking it even further, the bride's slave!) We have seen too many instances where couples expected members of their bridal party to do the jobs of professional vendors (which is not only no fun for them, but also not likely to create an event that runs smoothly or an end result that is done well), plan their weddings for them, and just generally be at their beck and call for any and everything during the wedding planning process and on the big day. It generally just causes more tension and stress for all involved-the last thing anyone wants for their wedding! Absolutely bridal parties can be consulted for input and should be included in pre-wedding and wedding events, but when it comes to the actual work: that's what professionals are for! Part of our job as wedding planners is to make sure that not only does the wedding go perfectly for the happy couple-but also for all their friends and loved ones! (Give us a shout if you're interested in us making that happen for you or your loved ones!)